Cravings
by sdbubbles
Summary: Jac is caught out eating "pregnancy food" and finds someone who has "been there, done that and got the tent-sized t-shirt."


**A/N: I actually am not sure how I came up with this :) when am I ever sure?! Ah well. It's just a little bit of Jac and Serena lightheartedness, really.**

**Sarah x**

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Jac started, yet again, slotting anchovies into a massive bar of chocolate, having retreated to the main cafeteria, where she was hidden in plain sight and nobody was bothering her. She was already growing tired of Mo's incessant – though well-meant – nagging for her to tell Jonny she was pregnant. Being truthful with herself, even if they were still together she wouldn't have told him yet. She didn't want to jinx anything. Or maybe she did. She hadn't decided yet.

"That has to be _the_ single most disgusting pregnancy craving I have ever seen," a familiar voice drawled from above. "Even I didn't concoct anything that vile."

Jac looked up to find Serena Campbell standing over her, tablet in one hand and coffee and cinnamon roll awkwardly held in the other. Oh, no. Only Serena would notice her in a sea of people as she tried to get some peace from Mo.

"Who says I'm pregnant?" Jac challenged as the woman sat down opposite her.

"Been there, done that, got the tent-sized t-shirt," Serena grinned. Jac had forgotten she had a daughter. "Don't worry. I won't tell anyone. Especially Hanssen. And Jonny," she raised an eyebrow as she tacked the Scot's name to the end of her list of people not to tell. "Though you really should tell him."

"Oh, bloody hell!" Jac groaned. "I came down here for some time out from Mo whining at me to tell him. Not you as well!"

Serena just smiled grimly to herself, and Jac knew what she wanted to say. The difference was that Serena accepted Jac's wish to do it in her own time rather than press her to tell Jonny before she was ready. She knew she had to do it. Hell, in a couple of months, she would be showing and she wasn't going to have much of a choice.

"Please tell me I'm not going to eat things like this for nine months," Jac begged her.

"Every woman is different," Serena shrugged, though she was barely disguising the smirk Jac knew she wanted to let show. When it came to pregnancy, Jac realised she basically had four women around her who knew what it was like: Mo Effanga, Gemma Wilde, Chrissie Levy and Serena Campbell.

Mo was already on her high horse and teasing her. Gemma Wilde she rarely spoke to, and she was only an F1 – not someone Jac was likely to discuss pregnancy with. Chrissie had enough on her plate with Sacha and Rachel, and besides, Jac was none too fond of her. That just left Serena.

Jac shrugged and bit into the bar of chocolate and anchovies; Serena picked at her cinnamon roll, eyeing her with a look of mild disgust mingled with knowing and wise amusement.

"So," Jac said. "What weird and wonderful cravings did you have?"

"Toast with butter, mayonnaise, mustard, ketchup and hot sauce," Serena replied, grinning when Jac forced back the gag that image induced in her.

"What is _wrong_ with you?!" Jac demanded. Ugh. How disgusting. "I thought you said yours wasn't as bad as mine?"

"I had a thing for Nutella for a while too," Serena recalled fondly. "Nutella on dark chocolate digestives."

"It's a bloody wonder you didn't end up the size of a house!" Jac answered her.

"Banana and raspberry jam sandwiches."

"Ugh."

"Oh, and pizza with chicken, bacon, spinach and mango," she added cheerfully; Jac felt her face contort in disgust. "Oh, yeah," she grinned into her paper cup. "I had one hell of an experience with pregnancy."

"God, I hope I don't put on too much weight," she thought aloud. She couldn't imagine herself as anything other than skinny, but she had an unpleasant feeling that may be about to change. Especially if her body kept craving huge big bars of chocolate with anchovies.

Serena gave an unladylike snort. "Never mind your weight; it's the bloody morning sickness you've got to worry about. I don't know why they call it that, because its not just in the morning."

Jac gave a grimace. She was hardcore – she and everyone around her knew it – but the idea of daily sickness did not appeal to her in the slightest. Rather than admit she was dreading what was to come, she cracked a joke. "I'll make sure to puke on Hanssen's shoes for you," she smirked as Serena laughed.

"You _are_ keeping it then?" Serena asked. She sounded slightly surprised. Jac sighed lightly, knowing she was going to have to explain her reasons for keeping the baby, even when the timing was the worst it possibly could be.

"It's probably the only chance I'll get," she admitted, taking another bite of her food.

Serena just smiled sagely and a little sadly for a moment before she gave a reply of, "I knew that scan was yours, all those weeks ago." She silently took a sip of her coffee. It took Jac a moment to realise she was waiting to hear what was wrong with her, but she couldn't just come out with it. She wasn't good at just saying things like that. "Spit it out, then!"

"Endometriosis."

"Ah," Serena said. "Now I see why you're taking the chance while you've got it. I take it Jonny doesn't know about that either?"

"Nope," answered Jac, layering false cheer into her tone in an attempt to keep Serena's concern at bay. "He's too much of a wimp."

"All men are wimps," Serena asserted. "Until they realise they can't be twelve-year-olds for their entire lives and decide to man up and grow a pair."

Jac just grinned. Serena was nearly as blunt as she was. It was good to know there was at least one person on the same page as her and wasn't going to pressure her into doing anything a certain way. "I want to do this my way," Jac confided. "And I do not want to become public property. Anybody so much as lays a finger on my bump and I'll break their hand," she warned.

Serena laughed. "I know what you mean," she replied. "When you're pregnant, it suddenly becomes OK for people to touch you for no real reason."

"Exactly!" Jac exclaimed. "Just because there's a growth in your uterus doesn't mean randomers can just feel you up all the time."

"Don't think of it like that," Serena said gently. "It's not a growth. They're a little person, Jac," she explained gently. "A little person who will spend the next twenty years driving you absolutely mental, but who you'll love and adore anyway."

Jac's thoughts wandered for a moment. It was surreal to think it would no longer just be her. She had a child to think of. She was beginning to accept that.

"Jac," Serena said, "you don't have to do this on your own. If you have the choice, you don't _want_ to do it on your own. I've brought up my daughter alone for the most part and it's so much more difficult. You spend your life splitting your life between working and parenting. Nobody helps, nobody shares the load and responsibilities. Before you know it, you end up exhausted in every sense of the word. Even with the support around you it's tiring, but alone it is that much more difficult. If you have that support network around you, don't try and break it apart. You'll regret it later on."

Jac fell silent. She knew Serena was right; she didn't like the idea of bringing a child up as a single mother with no help. She hated to admit it, but this was the one thing she could not do alone. Her other massive worry was that she would be as good at this as her own mother was, and that wasn't very good. She didn't want to screw her kid up like Paula had screwed her up all those years ago.

Serena seemed to read her mind, because she said to her, "You won't make a mess of it. You'll be a good mum."

Jac smiled at her reassurance and nodded lightly; she finished the last of her 'snack' while Serena finished hers, and they stood up together, walking to the stairs since the lifts were still out of use.

"You do realise women go through months of discomfort, sickness, whacked out eating habits, weight gain and then agony giving birth just to bring into the world someone who will just drive them up the wall for he rest of their lives?" Jac summarised how she saw pregnancy as they stopped on the landing of the floor Serena was due on.

"Yep," she answered.

"Why do we do it?" Jac demanded a reason she wasn't getting rid of this baby before it could do anything else to her and her body.

Serena took a step towards her and gently, and somewhat cautiously, placed a hand on Jac's abdomen and one on her own. "We do it because that person who will grow in here will invariably be the biggest source of frustration in our lives," she began, "but they will also be the biggest source of light and happiness in our lives."

With that she walked away, leaving Jac to ponder the idea that perhaps Serena was right and all the cravings, sickness, discomfort and pain would be worth it in the end. That maybe, just maybe, she had it in her to be a decent – or perhaps even a _good_ – mother.

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**Hope this is OK!  
Please feel free to leave a review and tell me your thoughts!  
Sarah x**


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